JangChoe.name

I had more needles on my head than her.

Brief Introduction To Alternative Medicine

We all know and love alternative medicine. You know, the new age crap that people do to feel better. In case you don’t know what some of these alternative medical practices are, here are some examples:

• Acupuncture – stick needles in people to make them feel better.
• Natropathy – use natural herbs to make you feel better.
• Prolotherapy – stick needles that squirt chemicals into your joints to make them feel better.
• Chiropractic – twist and bend your spine in all sorts of ways to make you feel better
• Aromatherpy – using smells to make you feel better.
• Rolfing – giving a really painful massage to make you feel better.

If something goes wrong, however, these can be dangerous. For example:

• Acupuncture – needle gets infected and you die.
• Natropathy – eat a toxic or poisonous herb and you die.
• Prolotherapy – squirt acid into your joints and you get die.
• Chiropractic – adjust your spine wrong, get spine trauma, and you die
• Aromatherpy – you sniff toxic fumes and you die.
• Rolfing – they dig too deep and puncture your organs and you die.

Sounds pretty cool, doesn’t it? Of course, Western medicine community look down on these practices. I mean they’re not scientifically proven. One time, I told my doctor that I did acupuncture, and he laughed at me. Hey, I would laugh too if you tried to fix a broken arm with Natropathy.

Luckily, I didn’t have a broken arm or AIDS. I only had tinnitus. Tinnitus is one of those billion problems that Western medicine can’t figure out. After going to ENTs and having no cure, I did acupuncture. And it worked.

My Experiences With Acupuncture

I grew up in a pretty traditional Korean home. We were Buddhists, believed in Shamanism, ate kimchee, and ate nasty Oriental herbs to make us stronger. Every time I got sick, my old-fashioned grandparents would take me to a TCM¹ doctor. They stuck needles in me and gave me disgusting medicines.

When I went to college, I began to break free of my family’s brainwashing. I began to develop rational thought and general teenage-know-it-all-ness. I started to think acupuncture was a load of baloney. I even got into minor debates with a few loony, tai-chi, hippy Westerners about acupuncture.

Of course, my problem was that I was also a hippy, tai chi person. And every green-tea sipping, peace-loving, Asiaphile, hippy Westerner dabbled in acupuncture as well. Since, you know, you can’t be Asian unless you do acupuncture and speak broken Chinese (or Japanese).

So I was exposed to acupuncture a lot. Then I began thinking and reevaluating it.

These Asian folks are pretty smart people. I should know since I’m Asian. They figured out a whole system of strengthening and conditioning the body that’s different from Western method. And like acupuncture, those conditioning methods haven’t been thoroughly scientifically researched yet. If those Asians came up with cool ways to develop your body², they probably came up with some unique ways of treating sick people.

In fact, in an article I read, they found out the acupuncture points had an 80% overlap with fascia planes. 80% is not an accident. These Asians probably knew something was up. Besides, 80% is pretty good for a culture that frowned upon dissection of human bodies for the last 2000 years. They had to develop it using empirical methods.

Since acupuncture had to do with manipulating fascia layers, I tried testing that out. When I went to the acupuncturist, I tightened the fascia layer where the doctor stuck the needles³. As I did that, the needles jerked around. It hurt a lot. But it confirmed my theories.

So I went my fair share of acupuncturists. Some worked, some didn’t. Maybe it’s just placebo.

So Should You Go To Any Old Acupuncturist Operating Out of a Van?

No, not really. I mean it can’t hurt, but I rather go to an Asian guy than a Westerner. Of course, I’m also racist, therefore I could be biased.

In all seriousness, I would make sure your acupuncturist went to a legit TCM school somewhere in Asia. If they got their certificate at some community college or is just a “hobbyist,” then avoid. There’s other criteria that you can follow. For example, I pay attention when they poke and prod my body to see if they’re using jin. Also, I find out if they do qigong. They should also be able to explain what they’re doing as they poke needles in you.

One final word of advice is to use your common sense. You can’t cure cancer, AIDS, broken bones, dislocated joints, gunshot wounds, heavy burns, or dismembered limbs using acupuncture. But check them out if you have a lingering pain or weird problems in your body that Western medicine can’t figure out.

1. Traditional Chinese Medicine [↩]
2. to do farming and to hurt people really bad [↩]
3. using breath and intent. It’s complicated, I do this when I do my mystical, Eastern conditioning exercises [↩]